I'm reading the book "Driven to Distraction", which seems to be one of the most researched and readable books available about AD(H)D.
Yes, I'm actually reading it. I still can't get over this whole ability to read thing! It's pretty amazing.
At one point one of the authors mentions that AD(H)D does have a positive side. (Well actually it has many positive sides, they are just hard to find) I think he writes more about it later in the book, but in the section I read he writes about how people who have AD(H)D often have an indescribable quality that draws people to them, a charisma, something extra that is intangible.
He also writes that, while there are famous people who have had AD(H)D and have been able to use that "something special" for great good, and to impact the world, most people with AD(H)D struggle so much with issue of self esteem and self worth that they never get past that to actually be able to harness and use the unnamed gift of AD(H)D.
As I've considered what that something special is, I think I have put my finger on a small part of it. People who have AD(H)D are known for our lack of inhibition. We will say, do, write, explore, ask, and pursue things that the vast majority of people wouldn't. This can be maddening to people and society, understandably. While 90+% of the population is living in line with certain norms, unstated rules of conduct, and boundaries, those with AD(H)D just run headlong through them, often leaving an unintentional mess behind us.
AD(H)D often takes away the ability to filter both input and output. I have had hundreds of people tell me to "think before you speak", and I tried SO HARD to do that. But now I know that it was actually impossible for me to think before I spoke, specifically in conversation with more than one person, or faster moving situations. It'll probably take me 6-12 months, with some professional help, to master that skill which I should have learned when I was 5 years old.
People who have AD(H)D are usually told that their lack of inhibition is a very bad thing, and it usually causes us endless pain, frustration, and heartache. We do not say, do, write, etc. those things on purpose to hurt you, I promise... I often deeply regret what I've just said.
But is a lack of inhibition totally a bad thing? I would say no, not at all. In fact, I think that it is a part of what makes many of us with AD(H)D the type of person that drive people crazy, but are also deeply loved and attract many people to us. While this aspect of our live usually cause more harm than good, I think it has the potential to be one of our greatest assets.
I mean seriously, if Abraham Lincoln had been more inhibited he might not have had the guts to take the nation into war over the dignity of those who were enslaved. He's in my top ten people with AD(H)D.
For me a lack of inhibition has meant that I don't see border, that I am willing to jump into a place or situation and make the best of it, walk down a dark street at night by myself, ask my friends if they actually want to marry the person they are engaged to, ask for an upgrade on an airplane, walk up to famous people and engage them in conversation, post random stuff on blogs, apply to graduate programs all over the world, rewrite a leadership development curriculum, travel to 25 countries, live abroad 5 out of the last 10 year...
Yes, it's true, my lack of inhibition has caused me more problems than joys. But I also don't want to totally lose it, I want to focus it. Always saying exactly what you think isn't good, but having the built in courage to say thing when they need to be... that is wonderful.
Now the irony is that, while we lack inhibition, we also often can't complete things and are very forgetful... it's a terrible combination. But that's another blog post.
Yes, I'm actually reading it. I still can't get over this whole ability to read thing! It's pretty amazing.
At one point one of the authors mentions that AD(H)D does have a positive side. (Well actually it has many positive sides, they are just hard to find) I think he writes more about it later in the book, but in the section I read he writes about how people who have AD(H)D often have an indescribable quality that draws people to them, a charisma, something extra that is intangible.
He also writes that, while there are famous people who have had AD(H)D and have been able to use that "something special" for great good, and to impact the world, most people with AD(H)D struggle so much with issue of self esteem and self worth that they never get past that to actually be able to harness and use the unnamed gift of AD(H)D.
As I've considered what that something special is, I think I have put my finger on a small part of it. People who have AD(H)D are known for our lack of inhibition. We will say, do, write, explore, ask, and pursue things that the vast majority of people wouldn't. This can be maddening to people and society, understandably. While 90+% of the population is living in line with certain norms, unstated rules of conduct, and boundaries, those with AD(H)D just run headlong through them, often leaving an unintentional mess behind us.
AD(H)D often takes away the ability to filter both input and output. I have had hundreds of people tell me to "think before you speak", and I tried SO HARD to do that. But now I know that it was actually impossible for me to think before I spoke, specifically in conversation with more than one person, or faster moving situations. It'll probably take me 6-12 months, with some professional help, to master that skill which I should have learned when I was 5 years old.
People who have AD(H)D are usually told that their lack of inhibition is a very bad thing, and it usually causes us endless pain, frustration, and heartache. We do not say, do, write, etc. those things on purpose to hurt you, I promise... I often deeply regret what I've just said.
But is a lack of inhibition totally a bad thing? I would say no, not at all. In fact, I think that it is a part of what makes many of us with AD(H)D the type of person that drive people crazy, but are also deeply loved and attract many people to us. While this aspect of our live usually cause more harm than good, I think it has the potential to be one of our greatest assets.
I mean seriously, if Abraham Lincoln had been more inhibited he might not have had the guts to take the nation into war over the dignity of those who were enslaved. He's in my top ten people with AD(H)D.
For me a lack of inhibition has meant that I don't see border, that I am willing to jump into a place or situation and make the best of it, walk down a dark street at night by myself, ask my friends if they actually want to marry the person they are engaged to, ask for an upgrade on an airplane, walk up to famous people and engage them in conversation, post random stuff on blogs, apply to graduate programs all over the world, rewrite a leadership development curriculum, travel to 25 countries, live abroad 5 out of the last 10 year...
Yes, it's true, my lack of inhibition has caused me more problems than joys. But I also don't want to totally lose it, I want to focus it. Always saying exactly what you think isn't good, but having the built in courage to say thing when they need to be... that is wonderful.
Now the irony is that, while we lack inhibition, we also often can't complete things and are very forgetful... it's a terrible combination. But that's another blog post.
No comments:
Post a Comment